As many of you no doubt know, one William Della Croce, Jr. of Massachusetts has filed a trademark on the name Linux. Bright idea. Got me thinking...
I am filing a trademark on the word "computer". All of you on the Usenet are hereby put on notice that the use of computer® is restricted and that for each use in any context you are required to send me $1.00. The word computer® is derivative from the Komputter®, a device I marketed in the '30's that helps golfers calculate the putting angle on difficult greens. Berry, Atanasoff, von Neumann, Turing and others maliciously stole the name from me.
All funds received will be applied to my lawsuit against bill gates for making unauthorized use of the word windows®. It is well known that I invented the window®, an ingenious method of mounting glass panes in the side of a house to permit viewing the scenery outside while keeping the weather out.
My® future® plans® include® trademarking®
every®
word® in® the® English® language®, and®
collecting® a® royalty® every® time® someone®
opens® their® mouth®.