How To Abolish Capital Punishment

and

While We're At It,
Empty Out The Prisons
and
Cure Cancer



The Quakers invented the penitentiary. Enlightened souls in the late Eighteenth Century considered this an innovative and merciful method of dealing with criminals. Compared with what had previously been tried - execution (sometimes by gruesome methods), torture, confinement in dungeons, galley slavery - it was indeed a relatively humane punishment. However, there was one slight problem.

The penitentiary, as originally implemented, involved confining the prisoners in solitary confinement, with a Bible as their only diversion - rehabilitation in "solitude and reflection". The expectation was that this would lead the inmates to repentance. After a period of such confinement, however, a number of the prisoners went stark raving mad.

Was this necessarily a bad thing, one might well ask. The perpetrator of a serious crime, confined with only his own company, day after day forced to reflect upon his miserable life and confront the consequences of his wrongdoings... if all this drives him to insanity, might it not be an appropriate punishment?

Of course, the stark realities of harsh penal confinement were a bit too much for the sensitive Victorian mind, and prison reform gradually ensued. The modern penitentiary scarcely resembles its archetype. It has become a breeding ground for crime, a school for career criminals.

Then there is the death penalty. The bad news is that is seems to be valueless as a deterrent. It takes a decade or more to execute a man on Death Row, and he becomes a hero of sorts to his fellow miscreants, and a legend, an archetype to be emulated for the next generation of criminals.

The worse news is that it is that the death penalty is the last resort of every backwoods wheeler-dealer office holder in danger of being defeated by an upstart reformer. It works. All manner of political hacks and sundry opportunists pull in bushel loads of votes with the magic words "capital punishment".

And so we come to the alternatives.


As a caring and compassionate society, we shy away from infliction of pain, of unnecessary cruelty even on the most heinous of criminals. The Constitution prohibits "cruel and unusual" punishment. Is this because we are "civilized" or just plain squeamish?

In this brave new millennium, let us dare examine all the possibilities for deterrence of crime and rehabilitation of career criminals opened up by advances in medical science.

There exist a number of options for "disabling" violent criminals. Here is the operant term, disabling. A simple, painless operation that severs the nerve pathways to the convicted offender's hands ensures that he assaults no more victims, fires no more guns, robs no more. As an added bonus, he will feel remorse for the rest of his life, suffering from the disability of being unable to carry out even the most basic functions of daily routine. How much cheaper to mail the "treated" criminal a monthly disability check than to keep him in prison for years.

Another alternative is severing the optic nerves. As a "warning", after a first conviction, the offender would be blinded in only one eye prior to release. A repeat offense would result in the remaining functioning eye being "treated", and the ex-criminal would walk, a free man, but in total darkness for the rest of his life, a danger to no one.

Yet one more possibility, for especially "difficult" cases, is to cut the spinal cord of the criminal - painlessly under full sedation, of course. Released as a paraplegic, the "cured" offender has been rendered harmless. He will rape and murder never more. Nor will he be a hero to the aspiring young hoods in the old neighborhood, but rather an object of pity.


The mainland Chinese, we are told, harvest transplant organs from executed criminals. Done from exemplary motives, no doubt, it strikes us as a bit barbaric somehow. All the same, the prospect is all too tempting. SF writer Larry Niven postulates a future in which even convicted traffic offenders are dismembered for their organs, so great the demand for body parts by the law-abiding citizenry. Imagine jaywalking punishable by forfeiture of a kidney for each offence... But what if it's your beloved 10-year-old daughter whose life depends on getting that kidney? Jaywalkers beware!





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