'Scapegoats' may encourage schoolmates' treatment

TEENS: Being unfairly picked on by schoolmates is a painful experience but, according to many former victims of such harassment, the suffering is often self-inflicted.

In a research report on the problem of "scapegoating," writer Sally Helgesen discovered that many of the former victims she interviewed now admit they actually encouraged the special attention at the time.

"In some cases," Helgesen concluded, it appears that a "victim makes herself an easy target for harassment ... because she achieves a kind of distinction, although not the kind she desired."

The problem of scapegoating is most common during the teen years when the social structure revolves around a few select cliques. Often an outcast student, in a desperate attempt to attract any attention from the social "leaders," will permit or subconsciously encourage the taunting comments.

As one former victim, now an adult, recalled of her junior high school days: "Back then, it seemed like people were picking on me for no reason. I never stopped to ask myself what I was doing to make it happen. But now, I see it was partly my fault. In fact, I was really asking for it!"

While she remembers wanting to be "distinguished, envied and looked up to," she felt too insecure to take positive steps to earn her classmates' admiration. "Instead, I hinted that I was friends with a lot of older kids and acted as though I had a boyfriend. Classmates saw through this ..." and, as a result, consistently made fun of her.

Another former victim recounts a similar past, "I felt so bad that this one little group of five girls mocked me. I concentrated on them completely and ignored everyone else in the class."

Her own actions, she said she now realizes, only increased her sense of isolation. "All I wanted was to get the popular group to like me." When that failed, she said, "I didn't want any friends at all."

Clearly, not all victims of scapegoating do anything to cause or aggravate the harassment themselves. Taunting is still often related to differences in race, religion, social class or appearance. But, whatever the reason, another common aspect of the problem is revealed.

"Teacher participation in scapegoating appears to be surprisingly common," Helgesen stated, "and the victims I've talked to all mentioned it."

Why? According to one teacher, Martha Martin of Houston, "Teachers themselves are often scapegoats. They get blamed if kids don't learn, so if they are not particularly strong or humane, they take it out on someone in the class who seems slow or troublesome."

Whatever your situation, there are effective ways of dealing with scapegoating. First, try not to respond emotionally. Indicate that you find the action simply thoughtless and unnecessary. Don't assume you are "weird," just because your tormentors may suggest it. But, do try to figure out if you are doing something annoying to prompt the hostile reaction. If you realize you are simply being picked on unfairly, discuss the problem with your parents or an older friend.

For students, it may be necessary to change classes or schools. While you shouldn't blow the problem out of proportion, if left unresolved, scapegoating experiences can continue to cause self-esteem problems for victims long after the actual harassment has stopped.

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1994 Tribune Media Services, Inc.

My Response

30 October, 1994

Dr. Robert Wallace
c/o CUMBERLAND TIMES-NEWS
19 Baltimore Street
Cumberland, Maryland

Dear Dr. Wallace,

Kindly permit me to address some issues raised by your recent "Tween 12 & 20" column on the subject of 'scapegoating'.

You blithely state "...the suffering is often self-inflicted." Is the behavior of the victims then justification for the abuse they receive? All too often, society implicitly sanctions or even encourages bullying the weak and helpless with the Darwinian rationale that they are unfit to survive, 'no loss'. The media romanticize the predators and treat victims with condescending pity. Your column condones the predators and treats the victims... with condescending pity.

Advice in the vein of "try not to respond emotionally" is fine for those in full command of a situation, but somewhat problematic for persons who are fragile and vulnerable at best and very possibly emotionally damaged. It is somewhat akin to telling a physically handicapped person to just throw away his crutches and walk.

You advise the victims that "it may be necessary to change classes or school". If I may be so presumptuous, I would consider it far more appropriate for the perpetrators to be compelled to change classes or school. The right to an education free from harassment is now clearly defined by law.

You cite researcher Helgesen's finding that teachers themselves often take part in scapegoating, then you quote a teacher's near-sympathetic justification of same without taking a position yourself. I would hope you agree that teachers who participate in this practice should be strongly encouraged to seek employment in a different capacity.

I think it difficult to "blow the problem out of proportion". Young victims of scapegoating and bullying often find suicide the only escape from their pain. We lose the best and the brightest, the most kind and sensitive of a generation to satisfy the sadistic whims of the bullies and thugs amongst us.

I proudly state that, as you have probably surmised, I myself was a victim of scapegoating. Yes, and I did and do agree with my tormentors that I am "weird", simply because I respond to the pain and suffering of my fellow humans.

Bearing witness against evil is the moral imperative of every human being, but a newspaper columnist bears a special responsibility to speak out. It does, however, require a measure of courage.

Yours sincerely,

(signed)

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Dr. Wallace chose not to send me a personal reply. He may not have considered the points I raised very important. Perhaps he is right.

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[quoted from Yahoo News, Reuters news feed, 08/26/96]

Monday August 26 4:45 PM EDT

Boy Kills Himself Before Starting New School

FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla. (Reuter) - A 12-year-old Florida boy hanged himself in his backyard just hours before he was due to start at a new school Monday, police said.

Samuel Graham, who told his family earlier that he was nervous about starting at a new school because he feared teasing about his weight problem, had been due to spend his first day at Parkway Middle School Monday, police said.

The boy was last seen alive Sunday night when he joined his two younger brothers and father in a bedtime prayer. Two younger brothers found him hanging from a tree early Monday morning. His father cut him down and tried to revive him but paramedics pronounced him dead when they arrived.

The Broward County Sheriff's Office found a step stool and a flashlight under the tree where the boy was hanged. They said there was no sign of foul play and that investigators believed the death was a suicide.