Ron,
Please be aware that you were about to make a terrible mistake. The promotional letter with your signature on it offers me a Citibank Gold Visa with an $8,000 credit line. Very impressive. Unfortunately, it is Linda Walker's card. Much as I am tempted to spend wildly and charge everything to Linda's account, I cannot in good conscience do so. Accordingly, I am declining your generous offer on moral grounds. Not to mention the fact that I do not in the slightest resemble Ms. Walker and that merchants would look askance at me if I attempted to present her card.
As a practical businessman, you probably do not believe in such motives as simple altruism and ethics. Therefore, so that you may feel better about this matter, I will permit you to send me a check in the amount of $1000 or more as a reward for my conscientiousness. You might consider debiting Linda Walker's account for my award. If she is sufficiently naive to permit the use of her picture on Citibank's promotional literature, she has not likely reached her limits of tolerance yet (hint: appeal to her company loyalty).
Should you feel that a person of my high ethical standards, not to mention cleverness is sadly lacking on Citibank's Board of Directors, you may make me an offer for my services. I must warn you that my salary requirements may appear a bit steep (but cheaper than writing off a loan to Brazil, no doubt). I can, however, reassure you that the stockholders respect bold and innovative management (it has been a while since you were on the cover of Fortune, no?)...
I humbly accept, in advance, your effusive expressions of gratitude (please do not send cash through the mail).
Very, very cordially yours,
(signed)
P.S. I also walk dogs.
P.P.S. Do you have any XL (extra large) Citibank T-shirts?